Treat your mind like a bad neighborhood - don't go there alone.

Ten out of ten people die, so don't take life too seriously.

Be profound, funny or quiet.

After you talk in a meeting, listen to hear if you said anything.

I don't need your help today.... Love, God.

Our sickness is between our ears.

Want to hear God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

Don't expect to learn about people from books; a person can't fit in a bookcase.

Now I can wake up and say, "Good morning, God!" rather than "Good God, it's morning!"

People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.
--Ramona L. Anderson

The Newest 12-Step Group
Have you heard about the latest 12 step group for compulsive talkers?

It's called ... On and On Anon

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.
--Tallulah Bankhead

There is only one reason why men become addicted to drugs, they are weak men. Only strong men are cired, and they cure themselves.
--Martin H. Fischer

When I turned myself over to God, I took my life out of the hands of an idiot.

When the world comes to an end, it will do so without my permission.

If you pray for a Cadillac and God sends a jackass, ride it.

There's no one too dumb for this program, but it's possible to be too smart.

All I wanted was to control you, myself and everything else.

My disease is an elephant. As long as I remember it's there, I won't get stepped on.

Try praying. Nothing pleases God more than to hear a strange voice.

Reality can be hell when you're only visiting.

God save me from myself.

We're all here because we're not all here.

Constructive criticism: I tell you what's wrong with you.

Destructive criticism: You tell me what is wrong with me.

My mind is out to get me.

I need to get the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth.

Come to ninety meetings in ninety days. If you're not satisfied, we'll refund your misery.

Things I turn over to God most easily are those things already fixed.

EGO: Easing God Out

God has never been a problem in my life, but I have been a problem to God all my life.

I know that I'm not yet the person I can be, but I thank God I'm not the person I used to be.

If you think you're happy, you are. If you think you're wise, you're not.

When I don't have expectations of others, anything positive they do is a pleasant surprise.

I can borrow trouble only at high interest rates.

 

Many of these quotes were compiled by Bill Austin. Visit his site at http://home.att.net/~quotations/