You spend the first 2 years of
their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling
them to sit down and shut-up.
Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your children.
Cleaning your house while your
kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped
snowing.
There is only one pretty child
in the world
and every mother has it. - Chinese Proverb.
Mothers of teens know why animals
eat their young.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted
child...
she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
Children are natural mimics,
who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's
parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your
own.
We child proofed our home 3 years
ago
and they're still getting in!
Be nice to your kids. They'll
choose your nursing home.
many of these quotes found at:
http://www.tasgreetings.com/quotesonkids.htm
"There is certainly more
in the future now than back in 1964."
- Roger Daltrey, Singer/Actor
"Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
- Yogi Berra
"Facts are stupid things."
- Ronald Reagan
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions
and have a tremendous impact on history."
- Dan Quayle
"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
-George W. Bush
"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information
in our heads."
- Vlade Divac, Basketball player
I don't know all the certain words to word it."
- Vanilla Ice, on why he hired a ghostwriter for his autobiography
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Headline
"Better make it six, I can't eat eight."
- Dan Osinski, Baseball player, being asked by a waitress if he wanted his
pizza cut into six or eight slices
"Football players win football games."
- Chuck Knox, coach
"If I know Mary as well as I think I do, she'll invite us right in
for tea and strumpets."
-Lloyd, Dumb and Dumber
"Good looking people turn me off. Myself included."
- Patrick Swayze, Actor
"Every city I go to is an oppurtunity to paint, whether it's Omaha
or Hawaii."
- Tony Bennett, Singer
"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Advertisement
"Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!"
-Lloyd, Dumb and Dumber
"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump, on her first novel
"Push this button in case anything happens."
-Elevator in Osaka, Japan
